Do you know how absolutely exhausting (and kind of humiliating) it is to be the only person in this relationship (which, excuse me... is made up of two people) who ever makes plans?
Thinks of plans, asks if you’re available, makes the plans, rearranges schedules to follow through with plans (which I’m okay with. It’s something I do with pleasure. I wouldn’t do it if I felt otherwise), and then more times than not, gets an excuse of some kind that you “can’t make it”. It leaves me dumbfounded every time. It’s like something I don’t even know how to react to. Which thank god means it doesn’t happen to me often in my other relationships.
I’ve literally never been around anyone quite like you: someone who I feel like I am pulling teeth to spend time with. And you know what I think this is a case of?: He’s just not that into you; which is something I am sincerely fine with. Of course I was absolutely looking forward to see where this would take us, but it wasn’t like I struck gold or anything. And I say that with zero conniving or passive intentions. It’s just a humble, given fact.
I don’t really have time to allow people who do not give me the same amount of love that they receive from me into my life. I just don’t feel like I have *that* much extra love to give. I’m not the kind of person who “falls in love with everyone she meets” (whether it be guy, dog, teacher, whoever!) And I mean, I’m only “overflowing” so much, and I’d like to reserve the overflow to people who “deserve it”.
Whatever. This is turning into a bunch of cliché bullshit because I’m tired and can’t think of anything sophisticated to say. I think writing it all down just helps me to better see that my instincts are correct in telling me that I am not a crazy person, over-bearing bitch, or whatever else for feeling this way and that it is acceptable to expect your love interest to put forth some sort of effort.
This is something I can accept. He’s just not that into me. Because honestly, no matter how much you like me, how much you want me, want to make this work: actions > words.
(Images via Pinterest and someecards)
