I whine
...about things I'm scared about:
a) School starting: The start of school is always a complete sledge hammer to my life, squishing any sense of comfort, inspiration or happiness for the majority of the next 9 months. It makes my stomach hurt to think about having any academic responsibility, especially for subjects that are poorly taught and don't light up my brain. And everyone continuing to tell me, "Well hey! It's your last year. Only one more year... come on! It's gonna be gone before you know it! Just enjoy it!" ..........What did you just say? "Last year" means horrendous amounts of stress surrounding the thought of college/life after high school in general. I don't know what the fuck I want to do with my life...? I don't know where the fuck I want to go to college.. I don't like venturing out into different stages of my life without a plan. I do not like the unknown. Jesus ain't takin' no wheel..
And listen to these classes that I have to take:
1. English IV
2. Government & Economics
3. Communications
4. Gym (AHA!... fucking gym!)
5. IPC (granted this is an online class.. cause my school is a little bit of a piece of shit and doesn't offer basic classes or teachers who know how to do their fucking jobs.. It's cool though man. No child left behind lol. Also meaning, I will be completely lost throughout the entire class. Online? Science? What?)
I mean what the fuck is up with all these rudimentary selections...
b) New jobs: On a less annoying note, but still equally as scary... I have landed myself a gig as a "nanny" for a 6 month of bundle of complete joy. I take it as like the biggest honor to have parents leave their child in my hands. Sometimes I can't even wrap my brain around it. Because honestly, I can't imagine leaving my kid, who is completely dependent on others, with a (sort of) complete stranger. It's SCARY. Therefore making it scary for the babysitter (if they have any ounce of cognition or sense of responsibility). It's a BIG deal. And I'm not really a people pleaser... but when it comes to other people's kids... I mean come on, you need to be. And I like, don't want to let them down.
c) Driving hours: Just.... don't want to do them. It's annoying and my driving instructor is intimidating and you have to "observe" for an hour also while another person who doesn't know how to drive, drives. I just kinda want to cry right now. My head hurts.
