I'm being really bad. Really irresponsible. And it's making me nervous and anxious..... which are the same thing....
so I guess feeling both of them is just like feeling one, but doubled.
I am only on page 50 of 293 in Huckleberry Finn. It's a real lull right now - Jim's dialogue is the worst. The power and time it takes me to decipher everything he's saying just leaves me sleepy and un-amused.. and then I close my book and go to sleep. I am very worried I will not finish it, along with my precis and dialectical journal in time though. I wanted to have it all at least read by the 18th; everything else done by the 23rd. It's terrible to think about how far behind I am.
I also have a job interview to prepare for. I am not only anxious about this because of what it is, but because the preparation just adds on to the list of things that need to get done. And with my brain fucking swelling and swaying and being sleepy... HOW am I suppose to get these things done..
It feels like I've spent the whole day asleep. And this god damn feeling is one of my least favorites because I've gotten nothing done today, which means I'm gonna have a shit time trying to fall sleep tonight, no matter how sleepy I am.
The frustration is driving me crazy. Nothing is letting it off of my mind. And I wonder why I don't just DO it. Get it done, be over with it.
All these feelings are coming back with the start of school, horrific bouts of sleepiness, feeling over-whelmed, yet un-motivated. The monster eating away at the inside of my stomach is about to reach the epidermis and will soon burst out, maybe with a tear or two, as my mask of sanity falls off.
And this isn't even fucking anything.
